16 April 2008

Let me tell you about horns. After three weeks of standing outside the hotel in the mornings waiting for a ride to work, you become accustomed to the intricacies and delicacies of the ‘sounds of India’. Now, there’s the little moped horn. This sounds like a cat with a cold, having its tail run over. There is about enough volume in one of these to annoy an innocent pedestrian. (I should point out here that, as footpaths are very rare around these parts, then pedestrians are a part of the traffic. Kinda terrifying really).
Then you get the slightly bigger bikes. There is an Indian built bike that is about as noisy as the Harley Davidson. Its called an Enfield. (I always thought they were rifles). Some of these bikes have horns that are about the same as the moped. Some have upgraded to ‘Car horn’. Riders of some of the bikes that seem to think that the horn is attached to the throttle. The slower they go the longer the horn blast.
Now we get to the car. Car horns are mostly about the same. You have some drivers, like Khilandeep, who use the horn in the spirit of good Indian tradition. “You’re in my way and I am bigger and faster than you, so how about you move over and let me through” or “ yer, I’m on the wrong side of the road but, hey you can see me right? No, oh well, at least you can hear me.” Then you have the drivers who believe it is their ‘god given’ right to use their horn to announce to everyone around that they are in the area. Quite often these drivers will start their horn when the engine turns on and stop when they turn off the car. (Ha!! I see a connection here. It’s the auto electrician. He wired the horn to the starter motor.)
Next comes the buses. (Oh, yay for public transport). The horns on buses, and trucks for that matter, can be quite melodious. They can range from the theme of ‘Beethoven’s fifth’ to the ‘charge of the light brigade’. (I think I may have even heard the ‘ride of the Valkeries’ at one point). The distinguishing feature of buses and trucks is that the horns are normally hitting about 300 db, give or take 100 db. Don’t ever get caught near a bus when it lets rip with one of these. It’ll take the skin of you in less than a second.
Now we get to emergency vehicles such as police and ambulance. Well, what can I say? Police cars will use their sirens to the same effect as everyone else uses their horns. They will try and work their way to the front of the traffic so they can be the first to leave when the lights turn green. Of, course, everyone else is trying to do the same thing, so it kinda pointless really. Which is what most drivers think anyway I’m sure, because no one seems to take any notice.
Let’s say that with the ambulance, your best time to need to of these is between midnight and 6am. If you’re dying at any other time, make sure you have a good will.
The lowliest of all is the humble rickshaw bell. The rickshaw is probably the most important part of Indian transport. (It must be. There’s so many of them). They have a bell. Kinda cute. Its about as effective as setting the alarm to go on a Two Dollar Shop watch.
Ah, the sounds of India. Its no wonder that when the Indians come to New Zealand they are somewhat apprehensive. The quiet must be deafening. Khilandeep told me three weeks ago that when he drove from Taupo to Auckland he was really scared. He said that there were no cars for miles. He only felt comfortable when he came to the motorways leading into Auckland.